Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Another Pseudo-Japanese Movie, Yet Another Japanotard Magnet

We've been inundated with the sheer amount of pseudo-Japanese movies these days, movies which supposedly showcase Japanese culture, yet produced by the West and containing various cultural inaccuracies that, despite the protestations of experts, are ignored time and time again so that it would fit the picture of perfect Japanese culture as seen through the sakura-coloured glasses of the raving Japanotard.

Not surprisingly, these movies have become blockbusters due to the efforts of Japanotards and the ignorant public who lap them up, thereby creating a skewed view of the culture itself. Some time back it was The Last Samurai, soon it will be the upcoming Memoirs of a Geisha. Japanotards have raved about TLS, maybe they will too about Memoirs. And then start spewing information about the distorted culture they've seen only from movies.

This ignoring the fact that The Last Samurai showed an overly simplified view of history, written by a team comprised of non-Japanese, and implied the superiority of the samurai culture over Western culture. The fact that the main character learns how to fight with TWO swords in a span of something like six months (despite some people struggling to master the sword their entire lives), while getting over his alcoholism and having the woman of the man he killed fall in love with him. And the best part: Seeking to punish his former commander for slaughtering innocent Native Americans. Wait, wasn't his commander just doing his duty and following orders? You mean, like that thing in the code of Bushido called Chuugi - what does it mean again - oh yeah, fucking LOYALTY. Sounds like yet more nonsensical drivel for the average retarded Japanophile. Doesn't help that the last surviving samurai just happened to be the Westerner, who probably goes on to fuck that Japanese woman silly and repopulate the village or whatever.

Memoirs of a Geisha? Based on a critically acclaimed book? Directed by Steven Spielberg?

Not to forget, denounced by the very geisha who provided the author with all her first-hand information, only to be distorted to fit the worldview of fucking Japanotards. And starring in the movie: 3 non-Japanese as the main geisha characters. Talk of Oscars for these Asian women abound - even while the movie is still in post-production. Yet more manifestations of the Japanotard phenomenon. Sometimes you have to wonder whether their mothers dropped them on their heads and fed them crack.

What makes this worse is the fact that Japanotards will use these movies as an excuse to show off their supposed `knowledge' of Japanese culture. After The Last Samurai, shit like `that's a katana he's holding' and `that's a wakizashi at his belt...' became commonplace. Wonderful stuff, considering that their only source of information was Google. Oo, I'm so impressed by you knowing the name of such wonderfully mystical Japanese stuff. Now tell me why you aren't also talking about the American-made gatling guns which kicked their asses.

This problem will only proliferate even more during the next release of a pseudo-Japanese movie. With Memoirs of a Geisha coming later this year, be prepared for more retarded comments by idiots who've suddenly become experts in Japanese culture by watching something vaguely related to Japan. Expect them to start spewing shit about geisha culture from the Discovery Channel or Google. What can you do to actually shut them up? Details follow.

DJnerate's Tips on How to Silence A Japanotard During A Cinema Screening of A Pseudo-Japanese Movie

1. Learn how to speak Japanese to a reasonably fluent level (at least ILR Level 3). A few rapid-fire, demeaning and insulting sentences in the language of the culture that Japanotards worship will shut them up. Most of them won't understand you anyway since most Japanotards never bother to actually learn the language, but they'll still be silenced from the shock.

2. Learn about every nook and cranny of the issue presented in the movie that you're watching. Pre-cinema preparation is extremely important for this. Once you know the cultural issues presented in the movie (e.g. the geisha culture for Memoirs), research everything you can, from academic, historic, psychological, medical, anatomical, behavioural and anecdotal sources. The moment the Japanotard makes a false comment, pounce on it and give him a lecture about everything you know. Japanotards are afraid of people who know more about Japanese culture than they do - USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!

3. Practice how to use a few important phrases in the most effective way possible, such as "Googlewhore", "Japanophile" or even "Goddamn motherfucking obsessed-with-Japanese-culture retard". Use your imagination. Even a simple sentence like "Nobody likes you, fuck off" will suffice.

4. Bring a few burly friends with you. Turn around simultaneously and stare at the Japanotard witheringly when he makes a comment. Don't stop until he is visibly afraid.

5. Fling popcorn at him whenever he starts talking crap.

6. Physically remove him from the cinema. Most Japanotards are weak losers whose only knowledge of martial arts comes from dressing up as ninja and saying bullshit like `Kage Buttfuck no Jutsu' while fondling their own prostates.

7. Punch him in the nuts. This always shuts anyone up. Don't worry about causing permanent damage, they'll never have a chance to procreate anyway.

8. Bring a machete and aim for the jugular.

This concludes the public service message from the DJnerate.

I fucking hate Japanotards.

- The DJnerate

Friday, September 02, 2005

Bunker

Not too long ago, when the PA was complete, Admin Djnerate brought up a topic about this guy who supposedly came from the future warning present day man kind about an impending doom in the form of a world wide war. He advised us to build bunkers with enough supplies and whatever necessities to keep us going. So of course being young men in our early 20s with raging hormones, we came up with a list of things we considered essential to keep us going. To the PA, if I have left out anything, pls let me know and add it to the list below;

1. A mini farm, prefarbly with pigs and cows. This is mainly to keep out dumb fucks who arent allowed to eat pork. About the beef part, well despite Admin keling being a hindu, he still whacks beef like there is no tomorrow. Cows will also supply us wit cheese (Thats dairy cheese,mind you) and milk.

2. A large supply of Spam, in case we kill our pigs and cows.

3. Our families, well duh! Who is gonna pay for all the supplies? The least we can do is let them in

4. Some nice artillery, such as AKs, mortars, uzis, and snipers to keep tards out, unless they can help PAY for our supplies and only like get o.1 % of the supplies.

5. Our girlfriends or crushes.

6. A group of french maids to help with the ahem, 'House keeping'.

7. Our comps, and a supply of movies, be it porn ,anime, blockbusters and so on.

8. Good supplies of books.

hmmm well I think tts bout it i guess. Let me know if there is anything I left out.

Admin Keling