How not to seem like a retard on friendster

Friendster pisses me off. Its flooded with bullshit. Its flooded with girls who try to act cute and pump their views. Seriously, who gives a shit about how many views you have? Anyway, I have come up with a comprehensive guide to NOT SEEM LIKE A RETARD ON FRIENDSTER.

1.Do not take a picture of your face from a higher angle
You are not looking cuter but more retarded instead. Doing that makes it seem like you are ready to give a blowjob. No wonder the number of visitors increased eh?

2.Do not put Japanese names if you are not Japanese
Come on man, thats just so wrong. I feel sad for you.

3.Do not use a christian name unless you have been using it all your life
Idiots. What's wrong with your old Chinese name?

4.For photo captions, do not write things like "My pretty friends and me...I am the ugliest"
Thats ridiculous, even more at times when you obviously look better than them in the picture. Probably saying that to appear humble.

5.Do not forward chain mails
Your fathers should have used a condom instead of a sandwich wrapper.

6.Do not close an eye or puff your cheeks
Once again, you do not look cuter. You look like you have semen in your mouth and the taste is unbearable.

7.This is it. I can't take it anymore. I am going to shoot myself in the head.




Police raided an apartment in Sydney and found the body of
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The truth

Well, its has been some time since an update has been posted. Let me draw first blood here. Very often, we hear a pervert sweet talking. Be warned. Many of it don't mean jack. To shield females from rapist style pervertism (only sincere pervertism should be accepted), I have come up with a list of sweet talking and what they actually mean. Once again, sit back and relax while I educate you on what matters most!

You look beautiful today - I want to hump you
You look pretty today - I want to hump you
You are gorgeous today - I want to hump you
You have the greatest pair of eyes I have ever seen - I want to hump you
You melt my heart - I want to hump you
I love you - Last attempt to get sex from you
You have nice hands - Can you give me a handjob?
You have lovely lips - Can you give me a blowjob?
I love the back of your jeans - Do you like anal sex?
Nice top! - Please take it off so I can grope your breasts
I love your hair - I love your hair
I have been thinking about you - I have been fantasizing about you
You are cute - I want to hump you

Never believe what a guy says, unless he is from the PA or he is
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