Sex tips from Swami Prembaj jr

As the Pervert Alliance, we are of course dedictaed to catering to the whims and fetishes of most STRAIGHT perverts . So below are some tips to help you pull the one eyed snake, choke the chicken, grab the rod, shake the log(in my case), pull the matchstick (in jason's case), bla bla bla, u get it.

1.Lube it up
A bit of vaselin (ie. KY jelly, petroleum jelly) on your 'best friend' really helps simulate the hot warm opening of the vagina (AKA stairway to heaven). Dont put too little n not too much either. Start slow as the bugger gets slippery as an eel, till u get a firm grip, not too firm though or it ll turn blue n u ll literally have blue balls. Keep going till climax. Now cleaning the lube off ur pecker is hard, water doesnt work, so u need to soap it up real good, n by this point, u ll prob be having another boner, so soap it up n let it go. Have fun

2.Cupping the Family Jewels.
Another way is to jack with one hand n cup ur balls with the other. Keep the jacking hand at a constant pace and rythm, while the cupping hand fondles n lightly squeezes your ping pongs. This stimulates a woman's hand playing with ur balls. A better idea is to lube up ur cupping hand n then play with ur balls. Guaranteed cum fiesta.

3. Fondling the nipples AKA The Arun
Alright this is still a controversial method as it involves u licking u fingers n twirling ur nipple(s), while jacking off. Alot of guys do not prefer this method as it makes them feel gay, but hey watever makes u hard. Personally, i don't like this method, but I know the PA finance minister likes it, so give him a holler to learn (or fondle) more.

Thats all I have this week. Stay tuned for more perverse and horny crap. Take care, happy jacking and peeping at chicks. Nandri.